Home

     So the other day I was on my way to buy my costume for Carnavales, which btw is an Indian costume that's actually really ugly but who cares, and I decided to take a walk through the "duck park." This park is huge and I had been in so many different parts of it before that I kept thinking they were different parks when it was the same one the whole time. It took me quite a long time to figure out it was one big park. I figured it out when I realized that there was always a duck pond in the park, no matter "which one" I was in. That's when we started calling it the "duck park." Anyway, that's not the point...

      So I was walking through this absolutely gorgeous park and I got to a part where there's this open "hallway" type thing with arched ceilings and the walls full of vines. And in the middle of it all, in an open patio type area, there's this fountain that's absolutely gorgeous. I was standing there and I remembered that I had been there with the AFS group at our first Bilbao orientation. 

     It felt weird. It felt weird because I remembered I had no idea where I was when we went with the group, and now I know exactly how to get there and how to get to a bunch of different places there. It also felt weird to think about the group of exchange students. At first they were a solace for me because I could finally talk in English and complain with people that really got it. But we haven't had an orientation in what feels like a seriously long time. I don't want to say that I forgot about the group, because obviously I haven't forgotten about them, but it feels weird thinking about the group and being a part of it.

     I love the group and this is probably coming out all wrong, but I just mean that it doesn't feel like an exchange program anymore. I don't feel like the American here for the year. I don't feel like this is some long trip with some school and, well, 10 months of living here. I feel like this is my home now. I know Bilbao and Mungia and I feel at home here. These friends are my friends. This school is my school. This family is my family. I also realized that day that I had felt so left out and alone at first, and it's amazing because I haven't felt like that in so long. I feel like I'm a part of everything around me here, like they've adopted me into their lifestyle and now I'm a natural part of it. 

     Not to say that I don't miss back home because that is my normal life that I've always had and I love it and miss it so much, but now I feel like I have two different homes, two different cities, two different lives. And it's just crazy to think of how hard it's going to be to go home and leave everything that I found here behind.