The Goodbyes

     Last Thursday was my goodbye bonfire. It was just a way to get everyone together one last time. About 30 people showed up, and I am so grateful to have had the chance to hang out with them one last time. 
     Not going to lie, I sort of dreaded the idea of the bonfire, as well, afraid that it would be too painful to sit around all the people I would have to let go of for a year. But, it was so fun. For a while, I was able to forget about the impending goodbyes, and I could just be there, be present, with all those that I loved. 
     Then, my mother decided to do this activity where they would go around the circle and every person would say what they were going to miss about me. Let me tell you, it was quite an entertaining activity. The answers ranged from "Your obnoxious but hilarious laugh," to "Practically living at your house, which has become my second home." There was a wide variety of answers, but they all made me feel loved, even if they were the craziest answers. I felt like I really would be missed, like they really would notice my absence. It was reassuring, to say the least.
     I had written these personalized notes/letters to everyone that told me they would be present, and even some of the ones I knew couldn't make it. Each letter contained memories, encouragements, or things I would sincerely miss about them. While, yes, it took ridiculously long (like, I'm talking 6+ hours over the course of a few days), I am so glad that I wrote them. It showed each person, individually, that they meant so much to me, and it was a sort of way for them to hold onto me while I was gone, for them to know that I would still think of them.
     Knowing what I was doing for all of my friends, my mom decided to buy a journal and pass it around at the bonfire so everyone could write their personal notes for me inside. Looking through the journal the next day, some of the entries made me laugh harder than I have in a while, and some of them made me love more than I have in a while. This journal is something that I can take with me, something that I can go back and read when I feel lost and alone along the way, which I am sure to. I recommend it to anyone going abroad in the future, or anyone who is still planning on having a going away party. I'm so beyond glad to have done it.
     While, yes, it was incredibly hard to say goodbye to all these amazing people, as I know that was probably the last time I will see most of them for a year, it was a great opportunity to feel for one last time the way it felt to be with all those that I love.