I feel like I'm slowly maturing...maybe that's stupid to say, but it's true. I mean I've always been kind of mature for my age. Yeah I still think really stupid, immature things are funny, but that doesn't make me immature. I've always been mature, because I've always needed to be. I've been through a lot in my life, I've seen a lot, and I've had to grow up rather quickly. I understand things in a deeper, more mature, better way than a lot of the people my age ever could. And that's something I love about myself. Plus I've always loved hanging out with people older than me because I feel more connected to them, I feel like I can handle it.
So anywho, I was invited to dinner with the girlfriends that I go to the discotecas with. We met up at about 8:30 and had dinner reservations for 9:30. That's definitely different from in the US. I mean most of the time people go to dinner at 6 or 7 or occasionally 8. I love that I was just going to Bilbao at 7:45.
We walked to the restaurant, hung around close by until it was 9:30, and then we went in. It was the most precious little restaurant. Walking by, you would hardly even notice it. It's just a small little door. That's kind of how all the places are in cities, though. I love that. I love that you look at this place from the outside and it looks like a nice door with a title, but you wouldn't think there would be anything of value within. However, once you walk through the door, it's actually quite large. It's a two story restaurant, mostly everything black and white, with an extra little set of wooden stairs that lead to nowhere and every stair has a candle. Absolutely gorgeous.
So we get to the restaurant, and mind you, there are 12 of us....normally there would be 15 but 3 of the girls couldn't make it. We were on the second floor at a huge table to fit all of us. We all order our food, jugs of water, bread, and we sit around the table, talking, laughing, having an amazing time. I feel so great with these girls. Obviously I'm not 100% comfortable. I mean it was only my second time going out with them, but they're some of the greatest girls I've ever met. And I love that here, I really truly have a bunch of girlfriends that I absolutely love hanging out with, because in America I've only got a few girlfriends. All of my friends are guys. To be honest, I've always felt a lot more comfortable with guys than with girls, which is why it makes me feel good to finally feel comfortable with girls, to finally have girlfriends the way that every girl dreams of.
Anyway, time flew by, as it always does when you're having a good time. Before we knew it, it was 12, and we finally left after eating so much food it's ridiculous, and OF COURSE un postre (dessert), which you basically have to get in a restaurant here (it's like an unspoken rule). What's funny is that there were people still coming in to start eating at that time. It's just normal here. They start their evening at the time that a lot of Americans end theirs. LOVE IT.
Walking through Bilbao with these girls at 12:30, only just getting home at 1 AM after having payed for our own dinners, I just felt mature. Stop laughing, it's true...Maybe I'm just some dumb teenager playing grownup, but whatever, I like it.
I like feeling like I can be on my own, like I don't have to depend on my family, on my friends, on anyone but myself. I'm not Bri the friend of such and such, I'm not Bri the daughter of Brian and Chris, I'm just Bri...I'm finally feeling like a young adult, like I'm growing, maturing, becoming more and more independent by the day, and I love it.
That's one of the reasons why I think studying abroad is so incredible: you really find yourself. You have to leave everything that defines you and you have to start over, defining yourself along the way. And you have a choice. You can decide to define yourself in ANY way that you want, because you're not tied down or held back by anything or anyone that may have defined you before. It's kind of like a metamorphosis of sorts. You are one thing before, slowly becoming boxed in, tied down by a messy blur. After a while, you're finally able to break free from this cage, this cocoon that you've become trapped in. And once you're free, you're able to fly instead of crawling along the ground. You're different, you're beautiful, you're free. It's a truly beautiful thing.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Giving thanks
Thanksgiving...one of the bigger holidays in America. I think I take it for granted every year. I never knew how much I'd miss it.
Thanksgiving is a day where you can pig out on some of the best foods. For example, candied yams, spaghetti squash, turkey, black olives, stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, and uhm who could forget PUMPKIN PIE (with whipped cream, of course). My mouth is actually watering just writing this.
It's a couple days of vacation where we finally get to sleep in, relax, and enjoy the fall weather, or this year, the winter weather. (Surprisingly enough, I actually REALLY miss the snow.)
It's the day before Black Friday, which I love pretty much just as much as Thanksgiving if I'm being honest. If you don't know what Black Friday is (not sure how you wouldn't), it's an entire day of ridiculous sales. The past two years I went shopping on Black Friday for about 4-6 hours. And these past two years....I was on crutches. I genuinely went to the crowded mall of angry moms and teens shopping their butts off...on crutches...only a few days after surgery on my leg. Let's just say it was a difficult task...but it was so worth it.
But it's not just that. It's a day to spend with your family and give thanks (hence the name) to the ones you love and the fortune you've had. I remember always waking up early to help my dad cook, even though I hardly did anything because let's be real, I can't cook to save my life. I remember setting the table with the nicest plates, silverware, bowls, etc. that we own. I remember sitting at the table with the family that I actually have in Pennsylvania and saying thanks for all the things we don't normally take the time to be thankful for. And then of course I remember digging into the delicious feast.
I didn't realize just how difficult it would be to be here. Thanksgiving doesn't exist here. It's almost like a myth...it's only something they've seen in movies or heard about, as it's only an American holiday. It's just another Thursday night. Going to school today was hard knowing everyone back home is spending the day at home with their families.
Since I can't be there to say my thanks, I'll just do it from across the sea.
First of all, thank you to all my friends back home. I know I'm quite literally insane, sometimes in a funny way and sometimes it's actually kind of terrifying. Although I was born in California and had friends there, Pennsylvania is where I grew up. I grew up with you guys, I was raised with you guys, and I consider YOU GUYS my friends, my home, my family. Thank you so much for always helping me out when I needed it, thank you for supporting me, thank you for accepting me for everything that I am, even when it's probably difficult. You're the reason I love my life back home...it's all because of you guys. So thank you so much for being there for me.
Second, thank you to everyone from AFS. All the staff, all the volunteers, all of my friends. You all made this trip possible for me, and I can't thank you enough. Though there are obviously struggles on this trip, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm having an incredible time, and I'm 100% sure that this is going to be the best year of my life...it already is. I hope every other student is having an incredible time, just as I am, and I want to thank you all for making this possible for me, and for being there for me when I needed the support or just someone to talk to.
Thirdly, thank you to all of my new friends here in Spain. I absolutely can not thank you enough for taking me in. When I arrived here, I was terrified, alone, homesick, and I only understood a good 3%. But that didn't stop me, and it didn't stop you. Fast friends or friends later on, you have all been there for me, supporting me, showing me the way of life here, inviting me places, taking me into your groups of friends, helping me with my Spanish, being so patient with me because I know it's probably tough for you guys too, and most of all, for being so kind to me even though you don't know me. I know some people are having a tough time here, whether it be with their families or with making friends, so I'm so glad I'm at an incredible school with amazing people that I love and I know for a fact will be best friends and family by the end of this year.
Fourth, I would like to thank my family here. I couldn't be happier with my placement. Before arriving, I was terrified that I would be placed with a family that I didn't like or that didn't like me. That was one of the scariest parts. And even scarier than that was the thought of having to change families after arriving. But I am so incredibly content here. You guys make me feel so comfortable, like I'm really a part of the family, and that's all I ever wanted. I don't know how I'm going to live without you guys after this year, because I truly feel like we're a family now, and I know that our relationship and bond and trust are only going to grow stronger throughout the year. Thank you for being the greatest host family a girl could ever ask for.
And finally, THANK YOU TO MY FAMILY. I know sometimes I take you guys for granted, but I wouldn't be who I am today without you guys. Taylor, Aaron, Josh, Jamie, I wish I could have grown up with you guys, but I'm glad we still have a great relationship. I love you guys so much it's painful and I can't wait til I live in California so I can be the annoying little sister you guys never really had. To Cash and Brooke, when I move to California, I will spoil the two of you, as well as any other nieces and nephews that may come along in the future, like any good aunt should do. I miss both of you adorable little rascals. To all my extended family, I love you guys so much, and I love that throughout the years, you've taken mom and I into your homes for however long every summer and how you're always so willing to drag us around, even though you probably have better things to be doing. It sucks having grown up away from all of you, but once I move back to California, you guys won't be able to get rid of me. And finally, to mom and dad, I love you guys more than anything in this world. I take you guys for granted and sometimes I treat you like crap, and I'm sorry for that...it's just because I'm a teenager...you know how it is. But I truly do appreciate you and everything that you've ever done for me. You've sacrificed so much for me and for the rest of the family, and for that, I am eternally grateful. You guys are my best friends in this world and I can trust you with anything and everything. I am who I am today because of the way you raised me and your ideals, but also because you've always supported mine, even if they were different. Your love and support is what's gotten me so far and what keeps me going. Without you I would be nothing. Thank you for everything. I can't wait to see you guys and show you around my new home, though my true home will always be with you guys, wherever you are. Missing you so much, especially during the holidays. I love you.
Thank you to everyone in my life that has been there for me, that has helped me, that has loved me, and that has let me love them in return. You're all incredible. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!
Thanksgiving is a day where you can pig out on some of the best foods. For example, candied yams, spaghetti squash, turkey, black olives, stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, and uhm who could forget PUMPKIN PIE (with whipped cream, of course). My mouth is actually watering just writing this.
It's a couple days of vacation where we finally get to sleep in, relax, and enjoy the fall weather, or this year, the winter weather. (Surprisingly enough, I actually REALLY miss the snow.)
It's the day before Black Friday, which I love pretty much just as much as Thanksgiving if I'm being honest. If you don't know what Black Friday is (not sure how you wouldn't), it's an entire day of ridiculous sales. The past two years I went shopping on Black Friday for about 4-6 hours. And these past two years....I was on crutches. I genuinely went to the crowded mall of angry moms and teens shopping their butts off...on crutches...only a few days after surgery on my leg. Let's just say it was a difficult task...but it was so worth it.
But it's not just that. It's a day to spend with your family and give thanks (hence the name) to the ones you love and the fortune you've had. I remember always waking up early to help my dad cook, even though I hardly did anything because let's be real, I can't cook to save my life. I remember setting the table with the nicest plates, silverware, bowls, etc. that we own. I remember sitting at the table with the family that I actually have in Pennsylvania and saying thanks for all the things we don't normally take the time to be thankful for. And then of course I remember digging into the delicious feast.
I didn't realize just how difficult it would be to be here. Thanksgiving doesn't exist here. It's almost like a myth...it's only something they've seen in movies or heard about, as it's only an American holiday. It's just another Thursday night. Going to school today was hard knowing everyone back home is spending the day at home with their families.
Since I can't be there to say my thanks, I'll just do it from across the sea.
First of all, thank you to all my friends back home. I know I'm quite literally insane, sometimes in a funny way and sometimes it's actually kind of terrifying. Although I was born in California and had friends there, Pennsylvania is where I grew up. I grew up with you guys, I was raised with you guys, and I consider YOU GUYS my friends, my home, my family. Thank you so much for always helping me out when I needed it, thank you for supporting me, thank you for accepting me for everything that I am, even when it's probably difficult. You're the reason I love my life back home...it's all because of you guys. So thank you so much for being there for me.
Second, thank you to everyone from AFS. All the staff, all the volunteers, all of my friends. You all made this trip possible for me, and I can't thank you enough. Though there are obviously struggles on this trip, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm having an incredible time, and I'm 100% sure that this is going to be the best year of my life...it already is. I hope every other student is having an incredible time, just as I am, and I want to thank you all for making this possible for me, and for being there for me when I needed the support or just someone to talk to.
Thirdly, thank you to all of my new friends here in Spain. I absolutely can not thank you enough for taking me in. When I arrived here, I was terrified, alone, homesick, and I only understood a good 3%. But that didn't stop me, and it didn't stop you. Fast friends or friends later on, you have all been there for me, supporting me, showing me the way of life here, inviting me places, taking me into your groups of friends, helping me with my Spanish, being so patient with me because I know it's probably tough for you guys too, and most of all, for being so kind to me even though you don't know me. I know some people are having a tough time here, whether it be with their families or with making friends, so I'm so glad I'm at an incredible school with amazing people that I love and I know for a fact will be best friends and family by the end of this year.
Fourth, I would like to thank my family here. I couldn't be happier with my placement. Before arriving, I was terrified that I would be placed with a family that I didn't like or that didn't like me. That was one of the scariest parts. And even scarier than that was the thought of having to change families after arriving. But I am so incredibly content here. You guys make me feel so comfortable, like I'm really a part of the family, and that's all I ever wanted. I don't know how I'm going to live without you guys after this year, because I truly feel like we're a family now, and I know that our relationship and bond and trust are only going to grow stronger throughout the year. Thank you for being the greatest host family a girl could ever ask for.
And finally, THANK YOU TO MY FAMILY. I know sometimes I take you guys for granted, but I wouldn't be who I am today without you guys. Taylor, Aaron, Josh, Jamie, I wish I could have grown up with you guys, but I'm glad we still have a great relationship. I love you guys so much it's painful and I can't wait til I live in California so I can be the annoying little sister you guys never really had. To Cash and Brooke, when I move to California, I will spoil the two of you, as well as any other nieces and nephews that may come along in the future, like any good aunt should do. I miss both of you adorable little rascals. To all my extended family, I love you guys so much, and I love that throughout the years, you've taken mom and I into your homes for however long every summer and how you're always so willing to drag us around, even though you probably have better things to be doing. It sucks having grown up away from all of you, but once I move back to California, you guys won't be able to get rid of me. And finally, to mom and dad, I love you guys more than anything in this world. I take you guys for granted and sometimes I treat you like crap, and I'm sorry for that...it's just because I'm a teenager...you know how it is. But I truly do appreciate you and everything that you've ever done for me. You've sacrificed so much for me and for the rest of the family, and for that, I am eternally grateful. You guys are my best friends in this world and I can trust you with anything and everything. I am who I am today because of the way you raised me and your ideals, but also because you've always supported mine, even if they were different. Your love and support is what's gotten me so far and what keeps me going. Without you I would be nothing. Thank you for everything. I can't wait to see you guys and show you around my new home, though my true home will always be with you guys, wherever you are. Missing you so much, especially during the holidays. I love you.
Thank you to everyone in my life that has been there for me, that has helped me, that has loved me, and that has let me love them in return. You're all incredible. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!
Monday, November 24, 2014
I just want to be angry
It's so hard to be angry with someone that's so far away.
I got in a fight with my mom yesterday on skype and I got pretty angry. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be angry and stay angry so I could make a point. But I just couldn't.
The second we stopped skyping, I felt horrible. I was still angry, but at the same time all I wanted to do was call her back; even if we didn't say anything, even if we were sitting in silence, both angry, I still wanted to see her. Missing her so much made it so difficult to be angry.
We ended up skyping again and laughing and talking like normal. I mean I guess I never ended up getting my point across, but oh well. It's more important to take the time that I can to have a genuine conversation with my mom that I miss probably more than anything (well both my parents equally) than to be stubborn to try to make a point.
Maybe if you're reading this, you think that I'm sharing too much, maybe you think, "I personally don't care about your family problems" but if you're on this program like me, or if you live far away from the ones that you love, you know how hard it is. When you're at home, it's easy to stalk off to your room with an attitude and not talk to your parents for however long to try to make your point. It's so much easier because you know that the second you stop being angry, they're right there waiting for you. You know the second you get over it, you can walk downstairs and talk to them, hug them, tell them your sorry, do whatever you feel the need to do to make the situation better again. But when you're so far away, you don't have them to fall back on whenever you want. They're not at the bottom of the stairs waiting for you to calm down and come to your senses to realize that yes, they were actually right, like most parents normally are (SHOCKING, I know...took me a while to figure it out, too). You only get certain chances to talk to them, only certain chances to see their face, and NO chances to hug them. So, you can be angry all you want, but it's going to tear away at you until you make it better. Luckily, I only let myself wallow in it for about an hour and a half before I called my mom back and just made myself get over how angry I was.
I hope I'm not the only one who has experienced this...
I just want to say to my mom that while yes, I'm still quite frustrated at the situation, I love you and miss you more than anything and I would give anything to fly back to PA just to hug you and watch Twilight on the couch with you while we eat ice cream and complain about guys. You and Dad are my best friends, and I just want you guys to know I love you bunches. XOXO
I got in a fight with my mom yesterday on skype and I got pretty angry. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be angry and stay angry so I could make a point. But I just couldn't.
The second we stopped skyping, I felt horrible. I was still angry, but at the same time all I wanted to do was call her back; even if we didn't say anything, even if we were sitting in silence, both angry, I still wanted to see her. Missing her so much made it so difficult to be angry.
We ended up skyping again and laughing and talking like normal. I mean I guess I never ended up getting my point across, but oh well. It's more important to take the time that I can to have a genuine conversation with my mom that I miss probably more than anything (well both my parents equally) than to be stubborn to try to make a point.
Maybe if you're reading this, you think that I'm sharing too much, maybe you think, "I personally don't care about your family problems" but if you're on this program like me, or if you live far away from the ones that you love, you know how hard it is. When you're at home, it's easy to stalk off to your room with an attitude and not talk to your parents for however long to try to make your point. It's so much easier because you know that the second you stop being angry, they're right there waiting for you. You know the second you get over it, you can walk downstairs and talk to them, hug them, tell them your sorry, do whatever you feel the need to do to make the situation better again. But when you're so far away, you don't have them to fall back on whenever you want. They're not at the bottom of the stairs waiting for you to calm down and come to your senses to realize that yes, they were actually right, like most parents normally are (SHOCKING, I know...took me a while to figure it out, too). You only get certain chances to talk to them, only certain chances to see their face, and NO chances to hug them. So, you can be angry all you want, but it's going to tear away at you until you make it better. Luckily, I only let myself wallow in it for about an hour and a half before I called my mom back and just made myself get over how angry I was.
I hope I'm not the only one who has experienced this...
I just want to say to my mom that while yes, I'm still quite frustrated at the situation, I love you and miss you more than anything and I would give anything to fly back to PA just to hug you and watch Twilight on the couch with you while we eat ice cream and complain about guys. You and Dad are my best friends, and I just want you guys to know I love you bunches. XOXO
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Convivencias
Earlier this year, there was a day where we didn't go to school, but we were with our class all day, and it was basically just to get to know each other and talk about things a little more abstract. There was another one of these, yet for 2 1/2 days, and I just got back.
So, Sunday at about 8, we arrived at the house after a 35(ish) minute bus ride, and we all thought we would be eating and going to bed. But nope...that was definitely not the case. We arrived, got beds (girls upstairs, guys downstairs) and sat at the tables, waiting for what felt like forever to be able to eat the sandwiches or whatever else we had brought along for dinner that night. Then at about 9:30, we started "games." These games were supposed to serve to get us to talk to people that we usually don't talk to, which didn't really work very well. Then after these games finished (11:30) we had free time until 12, when we finally went to bed.
The next morning, we woke up at 9 and spent the entire day doing activities, listening to lectures, talking in small groups, all of this with meals and free time in between. By the end of the day, though we hadn't done anything particularly productive, we were all exhausted, but nope, we couldn't go to bed. We HAD to stay in either the dining area (where they moved the tables) or outside (where it was freezing cold). We finished everything we had planned by about 9:30-10 so we had to find a way to entertain ourselves for 2 hours until we could finally go to bed.
Then today, we woke up at 9 again and did a small activity together, then we had 1 hour where we couldn't talk to anyone. We had to take that time to "be with ourselves" to reflect on our experience and our life in general. Usually I'm 100% okay with being alone...I actually love being alone to just think or watch a movie or read or do something where I can finally just relax. But it's so weird when there's about 40 some people all walking around outside, laying on benches, sitting in the room, all TOGETHER, but no one talking to each other. It's, what can I say, interesting, I suppose.
Now, to explain a little... there are 4 classes in Primero de Bachillerato (my grade -- "junior year"), but they couldn't possibly fit all of us in the same house, so they took the two biggest classes (Primero C & D) and put them in the bigger house and they put the two smaller classes (Primero A & B) in the smaller house of the two. I am in Primero A, but I ended up going with classes C and D. I've never experienced anything like these "convivencias" because we don't exactly have them at our school, so I went with my host sister and my friends that are in her class.
Though, in the end, I honestly think I would have been 100% comfortable with the other classes too, as I'm starting to get closer with those girls, and I'm comfortable in class with all of them. And I kind of wish I had gone with them because I adore the people in my class and the other class, but the truth is, I don't know them all that well, and it would have been nice to all have a better understanding of each other. But hey, no pasa nada.
I guess in the end it was a pretty good experience. I met people from the other classes that I had never even seen before, people I thought were in the grade above me, I had some good laughs with my friends, and it was an absolutely beautiful location. Not sure I'd do it again, though.
The thing is, I don't think it's necessary to have to be there for 2 1/2 days when we could have done all of the activities in 1 day or maybe 1 1/2 days. We had a ridiculous amount of free time where we were just wandering around doing absolutely nothing. I mean it's not like we could have walked around town....we were in the middle of the mountains...AND it was freezing. It could have been organized better...
But hey, in the end, it was 2 1/2 days that I didn't have to be in class, 2 1/2 days I could spend with some of my friends, and 2 1/2 days that I had to meet and, well, very quickly "get to know" people that I hadn't met before.
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So, Sunday at about 8, we arrived at the house after a 35(ish) minute bus ride, and we all thought we would be eating and going to bed. But nope...that was definitely not the case. We arrived, got beds (girls upstairs, guys downstairs) and sat at the tables, waiting for what felt like forever to be able to eat the sandwiches or whatever else we had brought along for dinner that night. Then at about 9:30, we started "games." These games were supposed to serve to get us to talk to people that we usually don't talk to, which didn't really work very well. Then after these games finished (11:30) we had free time until 12, when we finally went to bed.
The next morning, we woke up at 9 and spent the entire day doing activities, listening to lectures, talking in small groups, all of this with meals and free time in between. By the end of the day, though we hadn't done anything particularly productive, we were all exhausted, but nope, we couldn't go to bed. We HAD to stay in either the dining area (where they moved the tables) or outside (where it was freezing cold). We finished everything we had planned by about 9:30-10 so we had to find a way to entertain ourselves for 2 hours until we could finally go to bed.
Then today, we woke up at 9 again and did a small activity together, then we had 1 hour where we couldn't talk to anyone. We had to take that time to "be with ourselves" to reflect on our experience and our life in general. Usually I'm 100% okay with being alone...I actually love being alone to just think or watch a movie or read or do something where I can finally just relax. But it's so weird when there's about 40 some people all walking around outside, laying on benches, sitting in the room, all TOGETHER, but no one talking to each other. It's, what can I say, interesting, I suppose.
Now, to explain a little... there are 4 classes in Primero de Bachillerato (my grade -- "junior year"), but they couldn't possibly fit all of us in the same house, so they took the two biggest classes (Primero C & D) and put them in the bigger house and they put the two smaller classes (Primero A & B) in the smaller house of the two. I am in Primero A, but I ended up going with classes C and D. I've never experienced anything like these "convivencias" because we don't exactly have them at our school, so I went with my host sister and my friends that are in her class.
Though, in the end, I honestly think I would have been 100% comfortable with the other classes too, as I'm starting to get closer with those girls, and I'm comfortable in class with all of them. And I kind of wish I had gone with them because I adore the people in my class and the other class, but the truth is, I don't know them all that well, and it would have been nice to all have a better understanding of each other. But hey, no pasa nada.
I guess in the end it was a pretty good experience. I met people from the other classes that I had never even seen before, people I thought were in the grade above me, I had some good laughs with my friends, and it was an absolutely beautiful location. Not sure I'd do it again, though.
The thing is, I don't think it's necessary to have to be there for 2 1/2 days when we could have done all of the activities in 1 day or maybe 1 1/2 days. We had a ridiculous amount of free time where we were just wandering around doing absolutely nothing. I mean it's not like we could have walked around town....we were in the middle of the mountains...AND it was freezing. It could have been organized better...
But hey, in the end, it was 2 1/2 days that I didn't have to be in class, 2 1/2 days I could spend with some of my friends, and 2 1/2 days that I had to meet and, well, very quickly "get to know" people that I hadn't met before.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Feeling alive
So, I FINALLY went to a discoteca, and this time I could actually enter, thank god, because I now have my official ID.
I was invited earlier this week by two of the girls from my class and I said yes because I was way too hype to be able to go to a discoteca. But I was nervous. I was nervous because these are girls that I had only talked to in class and they were going with a bunch of other girls that I didn't really know. It's a scary thing to throw yourself into a group of people that have been friends since they were kids and wonder if they're going to accept you. Wondering if you'll be accepted by anyone is terrifying.
Even though I was scared, I made myself go and I told myself that I would have a good time, and even if I didn't feel super comfortable with these girls or didn't have a good time, at least I would finally experience what it was like to be at a Spanish discoteca.
I mean after all, you aren't born with automatic friends. You have to go through the awkward initial stages of meeting them, getting to know them, and letting your wall down before you can let yourself trust them, before you can let yourself love them. So I just had hope that this would be the first step, that this would be the first night of many, that this would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
So I wandered my way over to where we were meeting and I had faith that I would have a good night, though I had no idea what to expect.
And from the moment we all met up to the very end of the night, I had an amazing time. They are some of the nicest, funniest, coolest people I've ever met. Yes they're wild, loud, and kind of crazy, but it's incredible. It's a vibe that you just can't find anywhere else. Yeah all my friends in America are crazy too, I mean what do you expect, I'M crazy...but here it's different. These people aren't just crazy....they're free...they're alive. And that's what I want for myself. And that's what I finally felt last night.
We spent the entire night in a club dedicated to teenagers dancing until we were about to pass out, laughing, just having an amazing time together. And now I have a whole new huge group of people that I feel comfortable with, more friends to add to the growing collection. I finally feel truly comfortable here. I finally feel like I'm getting it right. I finally feel alive.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
The Dreaded EXAMS
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been spending the last two weeks finishing up the last assignments for this trimester, making "graphic organizer"/note things to study from, and studying like crazy. Last Friday, this Monday, and this Tuesday, we had exams. No classes, just two or three 1 1/2 hour exams each day.
God I worked and studied so hard. I mean, I always work and study hard, because getting good grades is just something that I kind of have to do...not like my parents force me to get A's or anything..I guess I'm kind of lucky in that way. But I do it for me. I do it because I want to learn, because I want to get good grades, because it makes me feel good, and because I'm trying to get into one of the most prestigious universities in the continental US and quite frankly, the world: Stanford University.
The first day of exams, I took the tests for Spanish Literature and Latin. The second day, I took the tests for History and English(obviously that one was RIDICULOUSLY easy). And the third day, I took the tests for Economy and Philosophy.
Now mind you, these are not tests where there are four choices to choose from and maybe a couple short open-ended questions. They don't do tests like that here...they're too "easy" although in the US, like let's be real, they're not always easy. Anyway, they give you a topic and you have to write everything that you've learned about that topic in paragraph form. They give you blank pages and you just write away for the entire class. Now mind you, I'd be pretty good at that in English because I've always been a strong writer. However, having to do it in Spanish...it's torture. When I study, I not only have to study the content but how it's written in the book or in my notes so I know how to write it on the test. It's quite a lot of work.
But for what it's worth, for only being here for two months, I'm doing SO well. I thought I would be failing my classes for the first few months, but I'm pulling extremely high grades, a lot of times higher than my classmates. And while I'm sure most of that is from the fact that I probably study a lot longer and harder than them, I'm still pretty dang proud of myself.
So, the results...all the scoring here is out of 10, not done to a 0-100% scale, though it's obviously super easy to do the math to see what that would be. Anywho...the scores of the tests... Literature : 9.4 // Latin : 10 // History : 9.4 // English : haven't gotten the scores but I'm gonna go ahead and assume 10 // Economy : 9.5 // Philosophy : 9.6.
I'm literally so happy. We get our official grades for the trimester next Friday, and I know for a fact that I have good grades. Of course the first exams I took had lower scores, though they were still pretty good scores. And the class grade is the exams and classwork put together, just like in America. So I guess we'll see!!
If you plan on going abroad, you need to know that YES it's a lot of work. There will be days when you're so frustrated because you're trying to cram in the same amount of information as the rest of the students, only the catch is that you're not nearly on the same language level as them. You're going to have to study hard and work hard, but it's possible to get good grades. Don't tell yourself "I'm going to fail" like I did, because I worried about it SO much before leaving the US. And now I'm here and pulling basically the same grades as in the US. So if your grades are important to you, it IS possible to keep them up, I promise you..I mean look at me, I've done it. You could too!!!
God I worked and studied so hard. I mean, I always work and study hard, because getting good grades is just something that I kind of have to do...not like my parents force me to get A's or anything..I guess I'm kind of lucky in that way. But I do it for me. I do it because I want to learn, because I want to get good grades, because it makes me feel good, and because I'm trying to get into one of the most prestigious universities in the continental US and quite frankly, the world: Stanford University.
The first day of exams, I took the tests for Spanish Literature and Latin. The second day, I took the tests for History and English(obviously that one was RIDICULOUSLY easy). And the third day, I took the tests for Economy and Philosophy.
Now mind you, these are not tests where there are four choices to choose from and maybe a couple short open-ended questions. They don't do tests like that here...they're too "easy" although in the US, like let's be real, they're not always easy. Anyway, they give you a topic and you have to write everything that you've learned about that topic in paragraph form. They give you blank pages and you just write away for the entire class. Now mind you, I'd be pretty good at that in English because I've always been a strong writer. However, having to do it in Spanish...it's torture. When I study, I not only have to study the content but how it's written in the book or in my notes so I know how to write it on the test. It's quite a lot of work.
But for what it's worth, for only being here for two months, I'm doing SO well. I thought I would be failing my classes for the first few months, but I'm pulling extremely high grades, a lot of times higher than my classmates. And while I'm sure most of that is from the fact that I probably study a lot longer and harder than them, I'm still pretty dang proud of myself.
So, the results...all the scoring here is out of 10, not done to a 0-100% scale, though it's obviously super easy to do the math to see what that would be. Anywho...the scores of the tests... Literature : 9.4 // Latin : 10 // History : 9.4 // English : haven't gotten the scores but I'm gonna go ahead and assume 10 // Economy : 9.5 // Philosophy : 9.6.
I'm literally so happy. We get our official grades for the trimester next Friday, and I know for a fact that I have good grades. Of course the first exams I took had lower scores, though they were still pretty good scores. And the class grade is the exams and classwork put together, just like in America. So I guess we'll see!!
If you plan on going abroad, you need to know that YES it's a lot of work. There will be days when you're so frustrated because you're trying to cram in the same amount of information as the rest of the students, only the catch is that you're not nearly on the same language level as them. You're going to have to study hard and work hard, but it's possible to get good grades. Don't tell yourself "I'm going to fail" like I did, because I worried about it SO much before leaving the US. And now I'm here and pulling basically the same grades as in the US. So if your grades are important to you, it IS possible to keep them up, I promise you..I mean look at me, I've done it. You could too!!!
Saturday, November 1, 2014
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Yes, yes, I know today isn't Halloween...don't pester me about it... Yesterday I didn't get home until 12:30 AM and I went straight to bed, and today I've been studying all day.
Anywho, HALLOWEEN!!! Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. I think it's so great. It's a day dedicated to those who weren't lucky enough to survive, those who have passed from this world to another, if there is one, which there must be another world of some sort, because how could we just be GONE after this life? But it's not just that. It's a day where we have the chance to be ANYTHING that we could ever dream of. We can get sexy in little bunny rabbit or cop costumes, we can scare the living daylights out of other people in Jason or Freddy Krueger costumes, or we can fulfill our darkest fantasies in a witch, vampire, or werewolf costume. I mean hey, the choice is yours. Anything we could possibly want is accepted for ONE night of the year. And that's what I love the most.
This year, unlike every other year, I did NOT dress up. Halloween, while yes it is celebrated here, it is NO WHERE near as popular as it is in the states. This month was slightly difficult here because I was constantly seeing pictures of the leaves falling, the pumpkins being carved, the costumes, everything I wasn't seeing here.
No I didn't go party with all my friends, which I admit, would have been super fun. However, I did have fun! I ended up going to my host aunt's house with my sister and my cousins, sister, aunt, uncle and I pigged out on normal Spanish foods (pan, jamon y chorizo, tortilla de patatas, etc) and then had so much candy and soda I literally thought I might burst. We also made caramel apples, which I must admit, was a serious FAIL. Like terrible. But I mean, hey, it was quite the funny experience.
The first thing we did was watch a "scary" movie. It was Rosemary's Baby....if you've ever seen it, you'll know it's the farthest thing from scary. It's a pretty old movie about a demon baby, which normally would be super interesting, but the fact that it's old makes it less scary, because they didn't have the effects that we do these days. Let's just say it was...interesting.
Then I played some piano with my cousin. And after that, it was time to look at the stars. This is the aunt that has a house in the mountains and I can finally see the stars. God it's incredible. Every time I look up at the sky on a clear night, I'm completely mesmerized by the immensity of it all. And of course, the moon was incredibly huge.
While no it wasn't the craziest Halloween I've ever had, it was still a lot of fun. And it's amazing to be able to spend time with my family. I ALWAYS have fun with my family, and it's so nice to finally have family living close to me, as in the US, basically my entire family lives across the continental US. Family is forever.
Anywho, HALLOWEEN!!! Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. I think it's so great. It's a day dedicated to those who weren't lucky enough to survive, those who have passed from this world to another, if there is one, which there must be another world of some sort, because how could we just be GONE after this life? But it's not just that. It's a day where we have the chance to be ANYTHING that we could ever dream of. We can get sexy in little bunny rabbit or cop costumes, we can scare the living daylights out of other people in Jason or Freddy Krueger costumes, or we can fulfill our darkest fantasies in a witch, vampire, or werewolf costume. I mean hey, the choice is yours. Anything we could possibly want is accepted for ONE night of the year. And that's what I love the most.
This year, unlike every other year, I did NOT dress up. Halloween, while yes it is celebrated here, it is NO WHERE near as popular as it is in the states. This month was slightly difficult here because I was constantly seeing pictures of the leaves falling, the pumpkins being carved, the costumes, everything I wasn't seeing here.
No I didn't go party with all my friends, which I admit, would have been super fun. However, I did have fun! I ended up going to my host aunt's house with my sister and my cousins, sister, aunt, uncle and I pigged out on normal Spanish foods (pan, jamon y chorizo, tortilla de patatas, etc) and then had so much candy and soda I literally thought I might burst. We also made caramel apples, which I must admit, was a serious FAIL. Like terrible. But I mean, hey, it was quite the funny experience.
The first thing we did was watch a "scary" movie. It was Rosemary's Baby....if you've ever seen it, you'll know it's the farthest thing from scary. It's a pretty old movie about a demon baby, which normally would be super interesting, but the fact that it's old makes it less scary, because they didn't have the effects that we do these days. Let's just say it was...interesting.
Then I played some piano with my cousin. And after that, it was time to look at the stars. This is the aunt that has a house in the mountains and I can finally see the stars. God it's incredible. Every time I look up at the sky on a clear night, I'm completely mesmerized by the immensity of it all. And of course, the moon was incredibly huge.
While no it wasn't the craziest Halloween I've ever had, it was still a lot of fun. And it's amazing to be able to spend time with my family. I ALWAYS have fun with my family, and it's so nice to finally have family living close to me, as in the US, basically my entire family lives across the continental US. Family is forever.
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