I just want to be angry

     It's so hard to be angry with someone that's so far away.
     I got in a fight with my mom yesterday on skype and I got pretty angry. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be angry and stay angry so I could make a point. But I just couldn't.
     The second we stopped skyping, I felt horrible. I was still angry, but at the same time all I wanted to do was call her back; even if we didn't say anything, even if we were sitting in silence, both angry, I still wanted to see her. Missing her so much made it so difficult to be angry. 
      We ended up skyping again and laughing and talking like normal. I mean I guess I never ended up getting my point across, but oh well. It's more important to take the time that I can to have a genuine conversation with my mom that I miss probably more than anything (well both my parents equally) than to be stubborn to try to make a point. 
     Maybe if you're reading this, you think that I'm sharing too much, maybe you think, "I personally don't care about your family problems" but if you're on this program like me, or if you live far away from the ones that you love, you know how hard it is. When you're at home, it's easy to stalk off to your room with an attitude and not talk to your parents for however long to try to make your point. It's so much easier because you know that the second you stop being angry, they're right there waiting for you. You know the second you get over it, you can walk downstairs and talk to them, hug them, tell them your sorry, do whatever you feel the need to do to make the situation better again. But when you're so far away, you don't have them to fall back on whenever you want. They're not at the bottom of the stairs waiting for you to calm down and come to your senses to realize that yes, they were actually right, like most parents normally are (SHOCKING, I know...took me a while to figure it out, too). You only get certain chances to talk to them, only certain chances to see their face, and NO chances to hug them. So, you can be angry all you want, but it's going to tear away at you until you make it better. Luckily, I only let myself wallow in it for about an hour and a half before I called my mom back and just made myself get over how angry I was.
     I hope I'm not the only one who has experienced this...
     I just want to say to my mom that while yes, I'm still quite frustrated at the situation, I love you and miss you more than anything and I would give anything to fly back to PA just to hug you and watch Twilight on the couch with you while we eat ice cream and complain about guys. You and Dad are my best friends, and I just want you guys to know I love you bunches. XOXO