Feeling alive

     So, I FINALLY went to a discoteca, and this time I could actually enter, thank god, because I now have my official ID. 

     I was invited earlier this week by two of the girls from my class and I said yes because I was way too hype to be able to go to a discoteca. But I was nervous. I was nervous because these are girls that I had only talked to in class and they were going with a bunch of other girls that I didn't really know. It's a scary thing to throw yourself into a group of people that have been friends since they were kids and wonder if they're going to accept you. Wondering if you'll be accepted by anyone is terrifying. 

     Even though I was scared, I made myself go and I told myself that I would have a good time, and even if I didn't feel super comfortable with these girls or didn't have a good time, at least I would finally experience what it was like to be at a Spanish discoteca. 

     I mean after all, you aren't born with automatic friends. You have to go through the awkward initial stages of meeting them, getting to know them, and letting your wall down before you can let yourself trust them, before you can let yourself love them. So I just had hope that this would be the first step, that this would be the first night of many, that this would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

     So I wandered my way over to where we were meeting and I had faith that I would have a good night, though I had no idea what to expect. 

      And from the moment we all met up to the very end of the night, I had an amazing time. They are some of the nicest, funniest, coolest people I've ever met. Yes they're wild, loud, and kind of crazy, but it's incredible. It's a vibe that you just can't find anywhere else. Yeah all my friends in America are crazy too, I mean what do you expect, I'M crazy...but here it's different. These people aren't just crazy....they're free...they're alive. And that's what I want for myself. And that's what I finally felt last night. 

      We spent the entire night in a club dedicated to teenagers dancing until we were about to pass out, laughing, just having an amazing time together. And now I have a whole new huge group of people that I feel comfortable with, more friends to add to the growing collection. I finally feel truly comfortable here. I finally feel like I'm getting it right. I finally feel alive.